hiding behind Melodies
keeping truth locked away,
but there is so much said
in the things I don’t say
I remember growing up in school never wanting to talk about being gay. But everyone knew I was gay. I was flamboyant, a tenor, got most solos in my church and school quoirs, plays and “glee” club. I got picked on sometimes and got called the occasional fag here and there, but for the most part I wasn't picked on because I was kind of tough and had siblings that could fight for me (one was in a gang).
There was always this feeling of not wanting to acknowledge what was right in front of me. I don’t think anyone would have liked me more or less if I had came out at an early age, it was my own prejudice that had me locked away. I mean, there is the fact that being one of the 3 gay males in my high school was tough, and i couldn't relate most times, but nothing I couldn’t handle.
When I became a independent musician, I found myself being plunged into this unknown thought process again of identity and the feeling of having to reveal or not reveal something to make a point. Im 25 years old with my first setup in the industry, a boyfriend, great side hustle and good friends that love and support me. What was I so scared of?
I remember after my first online hit, I spoke to my manager at the time about my thoughts and he replied we don’t have to say anything at all. That for me. even though I knew all along, was eye opening. I guess someone else had to say it. But, it clicked for me..
I didn’t have to hide anything ever. I also had to know the difference of hiding and being just plain ole shy.
Sometimes its ok to be quiet and be you. Let folks understand you without saying a word.
hiding behind Melodies
keeping your truth locked away,
but there is so much said
in the things you don’t say